I have been reading the “Parable of the Sower” in the Gospel’s, and I stop and think of each one, and How it has applied to me. Am I the seed that was throwen in shallow ground, Or in the thorns, or the good ground? How about you? in Mark, chapter 4, I think it reads the best.
When I pray, I pray alone, and on my knees. As I pray I try to put only Christ in my thoughts, and talk to him as though I am talking to you now. But EVERY TIME it enters my thoughts the wrongs that I have done in my life. The words I have said, the deeds I have done, the times I have fallen away, and told God I don’t want you, or your word. Just let me do what I want, and stay away. It haunts me, the very thought that I have broken every commandment, except murder, and I have done it wide eyed, and knowenly. All these things come back to me, and invade my prayers, even though I have repented over these things.
It is Satin try to take my joy in Christ away, telling me that I am not worthy, and how could a just God love someone like me! So I might as well just keep doing what I am doing, because I will fall again, no matter how hard I try. It is true, in this body, I am weak, and will never reach heaven, or anything else by myself. But it is also true that through God all things are possible, and you must throw yourself on the mercy of Christ, and except his forgiveness in your heart. He has paid the prce for our sins, you own the devil NOTHING!
I have found that when Satin iterfere’s with your prayers, you must depend on the forgiveness of Christ, and know that the devil has put up a wall to keep you from communing with God, IGNORE THAT WALL it is not real. The Devil don’t want you talking to or enjoying your relationship with God, so he seeks to distroy this, so you will fall away from God, or ignore your teaching. As the Devil knows you are a Christian, so he cannot have you, so does the next best thing, and distroys your joy, and your ability to spred the word, and the joy of your Salvation through Christ.
My advise to you is to grab your joy! You have it comming as a child of the most high God, Through his Son Jesus Christ. When these thoughts come to you, lay them at the foot of the cross, and move on. Don’t let the Devil steel what is yours, Christ died to give you this, and the devil don’t want you to recieve anything from your relationship with Christ. It is up to you to grab it, and keep it for yourself.
As the Parable of the sower teaches, the seed that fell on the good ground produced, 30, 60, and 100 fold. I pray that just one person will read this, and give their life over to the Christ, so that you may to feel the joy, and begine to sow your own seeds.